My crush doesn't crush me back.
And, I don't really know how to take that.
In fairness it's now been a couple of weeks since I found out, so I've had some time to recover emotionally (so to speak), but it kinda crushed my spirits at the time. So much so that I needed to go sulk at a bar and have my girl give me a pep talk.
I'm not "hurting" over it by any means, but I suppose my ego is a little bruised. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little frustrated that I didn't get my way (I know, I know, woe is me, right?). I mean, he's allowed to not be interested in me, obvi, I can't be mad at that - but it still sucks.
Because I liked him. Or at least, I liked that he was different.
The complete opposite to my usual "type". He was quiet and cerebral and artistic, and kinda scruffy overall. Not at all the beautiful, extroverted centre of attention jock type specimen I'm used to (yeah, roll your eyes at me, it's ok).
And that was really kinda...hot.
He made me nervous, and shy, and required me to put myself out there in ways that I wasn't used to. And it stressed me the fuck out but it also excited me and that NEVER happens.
Which is why the rejection was so tough I guess. Because I'm not used to getting rejected one, but also because I was really digging the newness of it all.
For the record, he has an ex who recently popped back into the picture - fair enough. (Side note, this is something I'm beginning to realize is a major difference between dating in your 30s vs in your 20s; great love stories are often already underway at this point. But that's another post for another time.)
But anywho, it's all done and now its back to the drawing board. In fact, I ended up going on a date that night with a guy I met on Tinder, a guy closer to my usual, and I was bored the fuck out of my mind.
...which reminds me, I need to answer that follow-up text. Oops.
Anyway, I did learn something - my uge isn't enough anymore. Not really. I need more. I need to challenge myself and stop playing a game I already know how to play.
Also, a man who builds stuff with his hands does things to my bodyyyyyy...