10.27.2015

Dear Diary...

I was cleaning up my phone the other day and came across more pictures and saved love notes. Of him, from him, to me, during happier times. (I'm doing a huge "cleaning up" of my life right now - relationships, home, thoughts; a life cleanse.)

Anyway, I couldn't find it in me to delete them.

I don't know why fully, but I suspect it has something to do with needing ... proof. Of what I went through. For me, somehow. Thats something I've been struggling with a lot lately.

But, they're like poison sitting in there. I know I need to get rid of them to free me. I know they're weighing me down; taking up space and energy, literally and figuratively, in my life. And I need to let it all go in order to really start healing, all of it, every last memory...

But for some reason, I still feel like I need them, for ... something.

6 comments:

  1. You know exactly why you need them lol you're not ready. It's a shitty feeling...but when i let those things i was keeping go, i was free.
    Hope you get there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are not welcome here. Please stop thinking my space and life is yours to sully.

      This book is closed Ky, walk away.

      Delete
  2. They're weighing you down, love. There is nothing you need to prove to yourself, to him, or to anyone else. Chin up x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Appreciate that. They are long gone now. Well, except the ones I will need for the book.

      Delete
  3. I feel the same way right now and by pure coincidence i found your blog... I just can't move on... I want to delete all memories but somehow, i can't... Still.. I felt good while reading your blog and i thank you for sharing it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think messages come to us when we need to hear them most, so it's not coincidence that brought you here. This is exactly why I write what I do - because I know it's also being felt by people like you.

      Time. Time is the only thing that will change this. That, and the knowledge and faith the real deal, when it comes, won't hurt you.

      You'll be fine, I am.

      Delete