When I turned 29 eleven months ago, I told myself that by my next birthday I wanted to be in a new city, living new experiences, writing full-time and growing my successful dating blog, with a book in the works, and in a meaningful relationship with someone that takes me higher & makes me better.
Well, I'm turning 30 in just about 10 weeks or so.
I have no job, I'm in the same city I still feel so very disconnected to, I'm dating a guy who I'm not entirely sure is totally deserving of me, my time, my love, or self-worth. My California plans are on an indefinite hold, and in my efforts to put myself "out there" and get connected, I've made relationships with "new friends" that I'm not entirely sure are right or healthy for me. I also haven't written a word in 4 months. Oh, and I've only downed 1 of my "a book a month" challenge for the year.
This is not - not at all - what I thought 30 would look like. Not for me, anyway.
I'm too bright. Too confident. Too independent. Too awesome over-all to not just take what I want from the world. To get mine.
... Or so I thought.
I'm pretty sure this qualifies as a mid-life crisis, officially.
I suppose the good thing is, it's only me in my way. This is "fixable", as they say. I can be a fixer... I can be whatever the hell I want to be.