8.20.2013

Top 5 Sexy Man Traits...

There's not much about relationships that I'm missing these days. Well I mean, other than the obvious (sigh) - but even then, my body is doing a really great job of turning itself into a fully self-functioning  asexual robot, so really that's not even a big concern for me at the moment either.

... Nooooooo, just kiddingggg.
(not really though)

Seriously, I'm good with whole "single" thing, happy even. I told myself this year was about me, and I meant it.

What I'm not good with though, is the whole "alone" part of this. I mean, obviously I realized (when choosing to leave my last relationship) that breaking up would mean going from a "we" to a "me", not to mention all the awkward & uncomfortable moments that come along with that, but what I don't think I truly appreciated, was just how singular single life would be. 

I'm not feeling bad for myself or anything, I'm just saying that maybe, if I had, I might have stalled things just a few more nights to really soak in the last of the boyfriend perks. 

Is that awful to say? Yeah, probably. But you know what I mean.

I MISS HAVING A MAN AROUND YOU GUYS AND ITS SERIOUSLY DRIVING ME INSANE! 

In particular, I miss those little special things that only a man can do, that make me (and every girl really) weak in the knees. Those extra bits of real life testosterone that no body pillow or shower head can make up for. 

So to keep sane, or at least try to, I thought I'd make a list of all the things I love most about guys, and having them around. Boys, pay attention so you can do this for your girl more often, and girls, tell me if I've missed anything. 

Okay, here it goes:

Top 5 Sexy Man Traits (in no particular order):

1. His smell. More specifically, his  favourite lived-in t-shirt. That point right after he's worn it a good few times to do errands, and right before he spills steak sauce down the front. This is a magical place y'all, a never ending hug that you can take with you all day. And don't you just love how the collar has the faintest smell of his cologne? Yeah, me too. 

2. His forearms. Never underestimate the power of a well developed forearm. It's right up there with oysters and chocolates, trust me. Best dressed with a shirt sleeve rolled up 1/4 of the way, a strong pair of forearms can evoke vivid images of passion and ... pinning.

(Ps. Guys, please note that it is not okay to ruin a perfectly good pair of forearms with anything other than a very sharp watch. Dumb man bracelets are not allowed, beaded or otherwise. Seriously I am not kidding.)

3. Hugs from behind & kisses on the neck. I only have one word for this: Gushington Central. Okay, 2 words. For real though, this is the most evil thing you can do to a girl. And by "evil", I mean fucking awesome. 

4. The "you're so amazing/I've got your back" wink. This is probably one of the most underrated relationship perks out there. It's subtle, and it's quick, but dont tell me that it doesn't mean the world to you when he catches your eye from across the room and gives you this comforting gem of a sign that all is okay, and he'll pull your sexy ass away from aunt Millie for a little closet sesh as soon as he's done helping mum with the cheese dip. Good god, if that's not my favourite thing in the world... 

5. The hand-hold/arm-around-the-shoulder. This is pretty close to the wink on the comfort meter, but it goes one step further. It takes my need to be independent in the situation out of the equation. (I know you girls get what I'm  saying here) It says "don't worry about a thing, I got this, I'm taking the lead. If anything goes down, I've got you". Comfort, pure comfort. Also, the whole proprietary thing is totally hot - even though we'll never admit it. 

Yeah, for any of these right now I think I would give my left arm. Or at least, my shower-head.

... Maybe.

6 comments:

  1. Your list matches mine almost identically. Especially #3 and #4. Although you can enjoy your Singledom. It's completely natural to miss the "We." After all we are human. The beauty is, you aren't bitter. And you are still hopeful. Never lose that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, for the most part I am enjoying it. A few lonely days here & there, but quite happy over all. Wouldn't trade for anything!

      Delete
  2. I love this list!

    The only thing slightly different I have on my list (which more of less goes with your #5), is when a guy touches you in a way to remind you that they are there. Say, you're at a party, and you lead the way towards a group of friends, he'll place his hand on the small of your back to let you know he's right there with you. Perfection!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yuuuup. I hear ya... it doesn't really matter what that touch is, we all know what I'm talking about. It's that little code you have between the two of you, like some sort of couple signature... its the best.

      Delete
  3. aaahhhhh.... forearms. Yes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I think one of the only upsides to being solo is that I can now appreciate these so much more.... on so many more subjects. (In a totally non-creepy way of course.)

      Delete