One of my aims in doing this blog is to help enlighten the women who read it on how and why men think and act like they do. Of course, I'm limited in my ability to do that since, well, I'm a woman, and can therefore only speak from what I've been able to rationalize from their behaviour myself. Realizing that it might be good to get a real guy's perspective in here every once in a while, I invited a friend, Lucious*, to help. So without further ado, here is his first post on a subject matter that we (girls) have all found ourselves in at one point or another.
Ladies, take heed.
You are in a relationship, or so you think, and the two of you have been ‘talking’ for some time. You think you’re dating him and, for the most part, you’re pretty sure he is dating you back. BUT all your dates are composed of time spent on the couch and time spent in the bedroom at your house or his.
What’s wrong with this picture?
Insight: The girl a guy keeps solely in his apartment or her apartment, generally indoors, is a girl he doesn’t want people to know he is associated with. Most times this is because he is busy chopping down another tree on the side, or maybe two; or because he doesn’t want the general population of females to know that he is tied down.
This doesn’t always take away from what the two of you might have. He might really like you, as much as you like him, but he’s not ready to make it as official as sharing that with the world by spending a night on the town. This is the same thing as placing that awkward two feet gap between the two of you when you do, by chance, take an excursion outdoors. The goal here is to keep you close enough, all the while giving other potentials the impression that the two of you might just be friends.
The extreme: Some guys act in this manner for a simpler reason – you’re a jump-off. There is nothing to the relationship except sex and it makes no sense taking you places because he isn’t interested in you in that manner. Therefore, the extent of your relationship becomes the couch and the bedroom.
The Upside: Some guys genuinely do simply enjoy staying indoors. These are the low-maintenance; non busy-body types who don’t need a lot of glitz and glam to have fun. You can tell if yours fits these criteria by measuring the awkward space between the two of you if you ever make it outdoors, or if he holds your hand.