No, Really, He's Just Not That Into You...

I was talking to one of the photographers at work the other day and he told me the most unfortunate story about this girl who continues to chase after him despite his many - and rather obvious - objections. Now, I get the whole "chase" thing, I do. I've "dated" assholes before and I've fallen for not so single guys too. Not being able to get what you want is not only hot, it's part of the game - it's just how it works. And in most cases, the torture of it all is also half the fun. But despite all that, there always comes the point where a girl needs to smarten up, pull her head out for a minute or two and assess the situation at hand, I mean really assess it - because none of the torture that an asshole puts you through is worth it if you never get to take him home... in which case he's just an ass.

Sometimes it's hard to figure him out yes, that is the point after all, but there are some obvious red flags that you should be aware of. So what I've done here is taken a few examples from some of my friends worst experiences to help you with that assessment of yours. Think of it as a checklist of sorts… a checklist of obvious signs he really couldn't care less about you or the fact that his rudeness is hurting your feelings.

In order to get his attention, you either have to tap him on the shoulder or get him cornered.

If you can't seem to get a moment alone with him, it's because he's not making himself available to you. Read between the lines. You do not need to be chasing anyone around, if anyone should be cornering and tapping, it's him.

He showed up to the party you invited him to with his best buddy… and 5 other girls.

Aside from being incredibly embarrassing, this move of his is actually his way of letting you down gently. Basically, he's trying to save you from the even more embarrassing (and not to mention totally pathetic) chasing and shoulder tapping with an advanced warning.

He keeps calling you "Lucy", and you keep reminding him that it's "Lindsay".

If he likes you, he'll remember your name. It doesn't matter if the only other time you met was 6 years ago when you ran into him with a friend at her dry cleaners or if you have one those names that includes an exclamation mark and asterix - he'll have it down. Forgetting is not the same as not giving a shit.

He makes out with your friend.

Well, I don't have much to say here other than if you can't figure this one out then you're hopeless, I mean really.

*Please note that this list is of course subject to change as men are exceedingly good at finding new cruel and embarrassing ways to avoid being upfront with a girl about their disinterest. Beware, you might not get to read about any of those new ways here first before you encounter them.


  1. This is a fantastic post. Should an annoying girl ever chase me, I'm going to use some of these. Invaluable advice, thanks :-)

  2. Ughh...The guy of my dreams always jokingly says he's in love with my best friend...but as an over-the-top ridiculous joke.
    ...I think.

    Is that as bad as making out with her? Or worse?