Usually, my FYIs for you guys consist of friendly little dating tips to try (or try to avoid) when you're out there whooing your women. Well, today's advice is a little different. Think of this more as a rare opportunity to see inside the female a brain, a secret that we've kept for a loooong time now, one which I will most likely get into trouble for telling.

Here it is: Women have their own reasons for sleeping with you. Boredom is one. To shut you up is another. To get nice things from you is a really popular one. And sometimes it's not even about you, or us for that matter, but a third party you're not even aware of altogether. Sex for us, like for you, more often than not happens for very unromantic reasons. We just don't tell you that because we don't want to let you on... or hurt your feelings.

So get over yourselves, because it's not us who are easy, it's you.


  1. hahaha...

    That's many times how men think... well, I guess emacipation had its impact after all.

  2. This is a toughie, because I am 50-50 on this one. I am of the firm belief that most women cannot just sleep with guys and be cavalier about it. I have had enough girl friends who have come to me with their dating issues, and I often have to school the girls on this one, as I am a guy's girl and am therefore always privy to their real secret conversations. I also find that most women tend to talk big when in packs, but when they go home & are alone, its a whole diff ball game. Trying to keep up with the boys = not necessarily smart for all of us.

    I dunno, each woman is diff, whereas all men tend to be the same. But the fact is, women have been socially conditioned to seek some form of bond (be it a casual friendship, a real friendship or a relationship) with our sex, whether we initially intend to or not. It takes a long LONG time in the dating world and alotta "Back to School" sessions with a good, honest guy friend for most of us to get with the realities of what men are truly like.

    The fuck buddies thing is ONLY for the brave, the girls with Daddy issues; or the ones who, like me, had at one time reached a point where i wised up and had enough of boys and their shit .. and when heartbroken, started acting like a cat in heat. In short, only the ladies who are actively looking for casual sex can handle casual sex .. if you want a guy to "chill with", this is a thinly veiled way of saying you want a pseudo-bf ... which really means you kinda want a bf, so u are not at all emotionally prepared for the ins and outs of that casual arrangement. Many women act like they can handle casual sex bcuz it's now the cool way to be, but the fact is, most of us can't. Yours truly included.

  3. Zindzi, I see what you're saying, and I can agree with parts of it, however you have to remember that this is about motive. Feelings, good or bad, are more or less inevitable and uncontrollable yes, but I'm taking about the part before that.

  4. I recently slept with a guy because he had taken me out to a nice dinner, I had had a few drinks, which made it hard to say 'no' when he wanted to come upstairs. So basically, I felt guilty, and let myself believe I 'owed" it to him. Ridiculous, I know. It was the worst sex I have ever had. Like having sex with a whale that just lay on its side next to me. When it was over, I politely asked him to leave.