It's Only A State Of Mind...

We girls have it pretty easy when it comes to dating. No think about it, its true. Yes there are the occasional losers, freaks and psycho-stalkers, but overall, the stakes are in our favor. We don't have to worry about the perfect opener, we don't have to stress about the first call or date plans, we're not expected to pay for anything, and we don't really even have to be concerned with trying to impress our date... that's pretty much all on him. Don't get me wrong, being wooed is fun and all, but sometimes I wonder if not having to deal with the hard stuff really benefits us in the end?

Take me for example, I was 21, never been kissed, and totally bummed about my "relationship status" on FB. While all my girlfriends were either dating or had boyfriends, the closest thing I had to a guy in my life was my weekly reunion with the adorable Seth Cohen. No one was chasing me, therefore I was single. And miserable. Until one day, when I decided to do something about it. I asked a guy out (gasp!). It was pretty drastic - considering I had never really even talked to a guy before - but it needed to be done. He was really cute, skinny, and slightly nerdy (like Seth!). It took three weeks to do it, slowly inching closer to him class, row by row, seat by seat, but finally I reached him. After unnecessarily asking to copy the homework questions from his sheet - and while making sure he wasn't looking - I hastily jotted down a quick hello, my name and number, and folded it up with a silent prayer to God asking that he not open and read it right there in front of me. He didn't. A week later he called me, and we sort of dated, briefly.

Yes it kind of backfired as he turned out to be an ass, yes I regret handling the relationship/fling/friendship with benefits (whatever) the way I did, and yes I made a complete ass out of myself for this guy numerous times. But you know what else? I'm also a smarter, more confident, and happier person for it. The dirty work paid off, and not just in the form of a man. I got what I wanted because I made it happen. I ditched those stupid dating rules that told me to wait for him to come to me because I realized that, at the end of the day, that option leaves my entire dating experience in the hands of the next guy who sees me. Now I don't know about you, but I want a say in who's going to woo me.

I'm not trying to put myself on a pedestal here, I'm just trying to illustrate my point, which is that, at some point, you're going to have to go out on a limb because that's where all the fruit is. If you want to wait for it to drop down to you then that's your prerogative, but you might be there for a while, and while you are, don't get mad if some other little squirrels go and snatch up all the good berries for themselves.

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