I think its pretty safe to say that the beginning of a relationship is the most fun part of the whole thing right? Not necessarily because the rest is boring but because during the early stages everything is just so new and exciting. So when a friend recently told me that they were dating someone knew, I really didn’t expect to hear anything but good things when I asked how it was going. Unfortunately, before he could even finish what he was saying I already knew this relationship was doomed. Now, I’m not trying to be pessimistic here, and in no way do I consider myself to be any kind of authority when it comes to relationships, but what I heard the first 45 seconds of his answer sounded, to me anyway, like pretty obvious signs that this isn’t going to go very far. But you be the judge:
1) The first reason he listed as to why he's with her is because she’s attractive.
2) He stalled when it came to thinking of another.
3) Before he could think of a second reason, he came up with complaints about her.
4) One month in, and he’s already trying to change (and make excuses for) her behavior.
5) His friends are all telling him not to bother with her.
Like I said, I’m no expert (and, it is true that no one really knows your relationship as well as you do), but you can't completely ignore these signs either. Now, there is a reason why I’m putting his business out here for everyone to see, and it's because I actually think that there is something useful to take away from it - and this is an educational blog after all (haha, yeah right). Seriously though, I think that this is a pretty good guideline to use in evaluating relationships, you know, when something about it just doesn't feel right and you start to wonder if it's a waste of your time. And while it might seem rash to break up over some of these issues individually, when you put them together like this, it’s kind of hard to argue other wise. So think about it, and try to look at the big picture while you do it, because there is nothing worse than settling for someone you’re just ok with while the one who could change life is out there looking for you.