6.15.2009

A Really Bad Approach...

Well, I have to give it to Men's Health for trying. Issue after issue their so called "experts" offer what they think to be useful information about women to it's readers and, as can be predicted, issue after issue it continues to suck, hard.

This month offers guys some friendly advice on a few simple alterations to their approach that will supposedly 'seal the deal' with beautiful women in bars. Now, at a glance, the article seems harmless enough, useful even, suggesting things like looking her in the eye when you speak to her and actually talking about her. (Although, to be honest, I'm a bit surprised that men need someone with a PhD to give them advice as basic as that). But if one takes a closer look at the advice that's being given here, one would, and should, be a tad concerned- not just for the guys taking it, but for the poor girls who will be on its receiving end:

"Approach confidently [...] head-on and maintaining eye contact [...] Push out air with your diaphragm [...] women prefer deep-voiced men [...] give her a firm grasp [...] draw out details about her [...] talk at the same pace she does [...] Once she brushes your shoulder or thigh, reciprocate within a minute or two [...] Handle the darts delicately".

And then there are the totally innocent facts thrown in which, in this context, add a whole new level of creepy to the article like: "forming a bond will release dopamine, a mood booster in her brain" or "touch her inner forearm, a nerve-rich zone that will create sparks". Um, what? This isn't 7 ways to get in her pants, it's seven ways to get thrown in jail! If a guy came up to me doing all these things I would run, the other way.

Seriously, guys, you can't listen to this.

The truth is, the whole tongue-tied awkward moment sweaty palms thing is actually kind of, well, cute. Just be you, that's all we really want. (Unless of course 'you' sounds a lot like what being suggested here, in which case, get help). But seriously, awkward and goofy is always more interesting than someone who's trying to hard, which is just plain annoying. Besides, who's to say that once you muster the courage to walk across that crowd you won't find her to be a little sweaty palmed and tongue-tied herself?


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