6.08.2008

The 30/28 Rule

They say that the average male brain matures 3 years slower than the average female’s, which means that besides the numerical difference in age between a woman and her man, there is an additional 3 years of mental retardation on his side. So if you’re 25 and he’s 30, really, it’s like you’re dating a 27 year old (which isn’t a bad deal at all), but say you’re 21 and he’s 21, well, now you can see where things start to get a little bit concerning (... now imagine how I felt as a 23 year old with a 19 year old, yeah, I knew things seemed 'high-school' for a reason).

Case in point: The Cougar-Cub Relationship (Older woman/younger man).

It’s become a trend. In some cases it can be pretty damn near perfect; he digs it because she’s “experienced, confident and independent” (code for sexually free and easy on his wallet), and she digs it because he can keep up with her sexual needs and wants, while playing according to her rules. In other cases however, it can be a lot like baby-sitting… only this kid is 5’11, weighs 175 pounds, and knows that you’re way to emotional to live up to that ‘my way or the highway’ bravado you keep tossing around.
So how do you have your cake and eat it too? Well, the truth is you can’t (partly because not every guy is the same, and partly because some men are just very skilled at masking the ‘crazy’ for long periods of time and springing it on you once you’re much too far into the relationship to get out unscathed). There is a way to lower your risk and avoid the baby-sitter dilemma however, and that’s 'the 30/28 rule': until you reach 30, don’t even look at younger men, and when you get there, don’t you dare push the 2 year margin or else seriously, you might as well just start dating twelve year olds right now.
Look, I don’t mean to be hard on guys (haha yeah right), it’s just that before the age of 28 (numerically) they’re just not mentally developed enough to handle a woman. You see, a man under the age of 25 (mentally) isn’t really a ‘man’ at all, as at this point there are only two things guiding all of his decisions and actions: sex and money (and I don’t need science to back me up on that it’s just true, ask one). That's why my 30/28 rule makes sense; yes they’re fun to flirt with, and yes they can satisfy those physical cravings of ours with rather surprising vitality and flare, but mature and meaningful relationship? It just doesn’t add up (literally).
It's really pretty perfect actually, follow it, that way you get to enjoy the benefits of having a younger guy at a time when your own maturity and patience have developed enough to be able to handle him, AFTER you enjoy the benefits of dating an older one while you wait (aka a sugar daddy).

ahem, booya.

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